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Someone to call "Daddy"

By Bobbie Jackson and Tony Chiaviello

John Alan has finally found someone to care for, someone with whom he could see himself as he had always imagined: as a father of daughters. A fun-loving guy who wanted to be a dad, John is now the proud father of a little girl who needed someone she could call “Daddy.”

John always knew he would be a family man: two or three daughters, if it were up to him. But he was a bachelor, working in the real estate business. His clock was running out and he felt adoption might be a solution. Being unmarried, he knew that becoming a dad wouldn’t be easy. And, at first, it wasn’t. When he realized that adopting a little girl would be the best route to becoming a father, at the same time he supposed he would need an older child, a daughter who, he said, “would be able to tie her own shoes,” and, he joked, “carry the yard signs for home sales.” He concluded that this would mean he would have to adopt at least a four- or five-year-old child.

But John had patience; he waited, and ultimately he was matched with a little girl whom, today, he calls “a perfect child.” He had tried several times in the past, with no success, and he was about to give up on the adoption process. While that process usually takes six to twelve months, it took somewhat longer with him because he had specified such a narrow age preference. Then there was a breakthrough: he received a call from Jo Chevalier, an adoption coordinator with Spaulding for Children. Spaulding for Children has been in operation for 27 years, placing over 1,200 children with permanent adoptive families. She had a little girl for him to meet, but the child was only two years old. John decided to go for it.

John met with the adoption coordinator, who introduced him to the child. At first he hung back, because she was only two years old and he had less confidence in his ability to raise an infant. He never thought a two- or three-year-old would fit him as a single dad. But when he met Annie, he knew she was the one.

There is a specific process that Spaulding for Children follows to ensure that a positive and successful adoption takes place. The process involves numerous steps: the families attend Spaulding’s “Parent Resource Information Development Education” (PRIDE) training classes, then a Spaulding for Children adoption coordinator conducts a home study. Over time, the adoptive family makes a “life book” with photos of significant people and events in their lives. Spaulding also provides support after the adoption, and works closely with the families to determine the children’s needs. Spaulding for Children does not charge a fee for its adoption services, and once the adoption is complete, other benefits may be available from the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.

The adoption process took John about two years. Annie is now four years old, and is very much bonded with her adopted father. If he was finally matched with a “perfect” little girl, it was because of adoption coordinator Jo Chevalier’s persistence in bringing the two together. Jo embodies Spaulding for Children’s mission of “building and sustaining strong, nurturing families for children who have endured abuse, neglect, or abandonment.”

And John is not raising his daughter just by himself. He has a network of friends and family who are there to help him when he needs it, and support him when he feels down, as any parent does from time to time. His personal support network includes a neighborhood couple that lives down the street. That couple’s sister and her husband have five little girls, with whom Annie has become friends; as John and his friends are all settled and secure, they hope Annie is making friends for life.

John’s mother is also an important element in his support system, as “mom loves having Annie as a grandchild,” he said. And then there is Spaulding for Children, where families can come to and exchange information and encouragement. Adoption coordinator Chevalier explains that Spaulding for Children has post-adoption service for parents to come back and get counseling to help with kids who may have endured some abuse or neglect before their adoption.

John has nothing but praise for the organization. His first adoption worked out for both parent and child; he has taken his role as dad seriously and has adjusted his life around being a father. He exclaims every day how lucky he is to get “such a great kid.” John goes on about how Annie has certainly changed his life in a wonderful way. When asked if he is considering more adoptions, he says with a smile that he is “thinking about it,” and maybe he will “in a couple of years.”