P.R.I.D.E.
Schedule

Parenting strategies to encourage attachment

Make Eye Contact

Don't say it unless you have eye contact.

Respond to High Emotions

	Use temper tantrums, anger, excitement, sadness, fear, etc. as an opportunity to make a connection with the child.
	Use any illness to be very attentive and nurturing.
	Help the child identify feelings e.g. the difference between hunger, scared, nervous, etc. (abused children are not aware of their feelings).
	The neglected child has learned to meet his own needs by becoming self sufficient: hoarding food, raiding the refrigerator, rocking, self-stimulation; he needs time to learn that you can take care of him.
	Let the child express angry feelings in non-harmful ways.
	Help the child learn more about his past; help him talk about his birth family and foster family.
	Distinguish between past and present relationships.
	Help the child cope with ambivalent feelings about his past and about moving from home to home.
	Redirect indiscriminate affection.
	Give the child an object of comfort (e.g. a snuggy bathrobe, blanket, teddy bear), let the dog sleep with him, leave a light on, leave soft music on, etc.

Initiate Positive Interactions

	Initiate affection: hugs, kisses, physical closeness.
	Read to the child, teach rhymes, stories.
	Identify the child's strengths and build on them.
	Provide structured activities and monitor them closely.
	Establish predictable routines.
	Child may seem 2 years-old one minute and 22 years-old the next; respond to the child where he is (e.g. play little kid games with a big kid or vice versa).
	Identify something each parent or family member can do with the child for 15 minutes each day that is fun for all.
	Praise often for small things in a matter-of-fact way, not lavishly ­ always with eye contact.
	Use pizzazz to make a point, to get a child's attention.
	Do things with the child, e.g. shopping, chores.
	Teach a child to cook, garden, make things, etc.
	Play games.
	Help with homework if he needs it, but only if you can do it without getting angry or frustrated.

Claiming Behaviors

	Encourage the child to call you "Mom," "Dad," "Grandma."
	Let the child know that using your last name is a way to let everyone know he's a part of your family.
	Add a middle name that has a special meaning or family connection.
	Hang the child's picture and pictures of his birth siblings with your family pictures.
	Identify his bed, his drawers, his closet, and his place at the table.
	Teach him about family routines and rituals (e.g. "In this family, we...")
	Share family jokes and stories, show pictures of and talk about extended family.
	Tell him the story of his adoption.
	Identify families and pleasant things from his past and bring them into your life style, e.g. favorite foods, activities.
	Identify the child's special role/responsibility in the family, e.g. "You laugh just like Uncle Joe," "You are the gate keeper."
	Look at the child's lifebook with him and help him add memories and mementos to it.
	Include the child in family rituals.